Copy
This newsletter is sponsored by NOB Bank. More than money... we're also about destroying the planet
(Not a subscriber? Join our email list here)
Issue 153 - 22nd October 2021

Introducing our latest greenwashing campaign

Dear Customer,

As the CEO of NOB Bank, I sometimes feel like I'm misunderstood. I go along to these fancy dinners with other bankers and they say to me "Ross, why are all your ads about helping the environment? Why are you such a latte sipping greenie?"

And look, I'll be honest. That hurts.

You see, our marketing department has this weird idea that our customers and employees care about people and the environment. And they've gone crazy in the last few years. All they ever churn out are these sappy, caring ads about how our bank is about "more than money". It's nauseating.

And frankly, it's humiliating. Having fellow bankers laugh at you is horrible. I mean, you only become a CEO because you're a broken human being who was teased at school, and you want to become so powerful that nobody ever laughs at you again.

But then I look at our annual report to shareholders about what we're ACTUALLY doing, and it gives me comfort. You see, just because we've changed our ads to make us look all touchy-feely doesn't mean we've changed our behaviour.

In fact, the whole time those ads have been running, we've also been bankrolling billions in loans for fossil fuel projects over the past few years. We still loan far more money to carbon polluting projects than renewables. Far from being a bunch of latte-sipping greenies, we're raking in fat bonuses off the back of earth-destroying loans. Ha! Who's laughing now?

Point is, we're the nobs we always have been.

And to celebrate this, we've partnered with The Chaser for our latest bunch of greenwashing ads. I think you'll agree, they're nothing if not honest.

Check them out at chaser.com.au/nab

Ross McEwan
CEO
NOB Bank



WAR ON 2021 LIVE SHOW
Our end of year live show "The War on 2021" is happening! If you live in NSW or ACT, and you're fully vaccinated, you can book tickets to our shows across the state. As for most of the other states, strangely your governments don't seem to want Covid-19 sloshing around, so we’re going to have to postpone until next year. If you’ve already bought tickets, you will be contacted in the coming weeks and offered a new date, or a full refund. For our Melbourne show, we’re still holding out hope, so save the date. Fingers crossed!


 

November 24 - Central Coast Laycock Theatre - Book Now

November 25 - Newcastle City Hall, Concert Hall - Book Now

November 30 - Canberra Theatre - Book Now

December 2 - Wollongong IMB Theatre - Book Now

December 8 - Penrith, The Joan - Book Now

December 9 - Sydney, Enmore Theatre - Book Now


PODCAST IS NOW DAILY
The Chaser Report podcast is now daily, so search for "Chaser Report" on your podcast app of choice, or stream it here or subscribe here.

BECOME A CHASER SUPPORTER
During these times, it's very important for us to have enough beer to keep the satire flowing. So please support The Chaser by giving $5 or $10 or $25,000 a month. $1 can pay the monthly salary of 20 Gen Z full-time writers. It really is what keeps this media empire growing, including the website, social media and podcast. The Federal Election is coming up soon, and we need all the resources we can to cover it.

CHASER DAILY
If you want a Zuckerberg-free way of getting daily updates from The Chaser, subscribe to our daily newsletter. Which you probably already have if you're reading this.

MERCHANDISE
Check out our quality range of merchandise at the Chaser Shop. Plus if you're into wearing clothes, we've collaborated with ethical manufacturer Lonely Kids Club on a new line of merch and Minister Potatohead Track Pants. Check them out. Especially popular is the Chaser Hoodie.

NEWS


Mystery Wagga sportsman orders 20,000 clay pigeons with Mike Baird’s face on them



Freedom of speech warrior George Christensen wants speech supressed regarding his Philippines trips for some reason



Report: Everyone on the Bachelorette wants to fuck Osher



WA Premier now doing briefings from turret of a tank



ICAC decides to save time by just locking up every single politician



‘Squid game will make my child violent’ complains parent who lets their child watch Squid Game



SHOCK: Woman with 10 years experience briefly earned more than rookie male colleague



As parliament cracks down on sexual harassment, Barnaby resorts to fucking the planet instead



Scott Morrison announces Net Zero commitments to climate policy



Scott Morrison begins preparations to embarrass Australia in Glasgow



Perrottet announces commitment to having the most diverse cabinet of rich straight white men possible



Inspired by Morrison, local worker announces plans to not show up to meetings from now on

 

The Chaser Report podcast

This week's episodes



OCTOBER 22, 2021
Melbourne is Fucking Free!
with Dave Milner and Sami Shah


OCTOBER 22, 2021
Eulogy to Colin Powell
with Craig Reucassel


OCTOBER 20, 2021
A man without power
with Mark Humphries


OCTOBER 19, 2021
Not Zero emissions
with Aleksa Vulovic


OCTOBER 18, 2021
Give us freedom (and Covid)!
with Dave Milner and Dan Ilic
Facebook
Twitter
Link
Website
Copyright © 2021 The Chaser Digital Pty Ltd, All rights reserved.


Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.