Introducing our latest greenwashing campaign
Dear Customer,
As the CEO of NOB Bank, I sometimes feel like I'm misunderstood. I go along to these fancy dinners with other bankers and they say to me "Ross, why are all your ads about helping the environment? Why are you such a latte sipping greenie?"
And look, I'll be honest. That hurts.
You see, our marketing department has this weird idea that our customers and employees care about people and the environment. And they've gone crazy in the last few years. All they ever churn out are these sappy, caring ads about how our bank is about "more than money". It's nauseating.
And frankly, it's humiliating. Having fellow bankers laugh at you is horrible. I mean, you only become a CEO because you're a broken human being who was teased at school, and you want to become so powerful that nobody ever laughs at you again.
But then I look at our annual report to shareholders about what we're ACTUALLY doing, and it gives me comfort. You see, just because we've changed our ads to make us look all touchy-feely doesn't mean we've changed our behaviour.
In fact, the whole time those ads have been running, we've also been bankrolling billions in loans for fossil fuel projects over the past few years. We still loan far more money to carbon polluting projects than renewables. Far from being a bunch of latte-sipping greenies, we're raking in fat bonuses off the back of earth-destroying loans. Ha! Who's laughing now?
Point is, we're the nobs we always have been.
And to celebrate this, we've partnered with The Chaser for our latest bunch of greenwashing ads. I think you'll agree, they're nothing if not honest.
Check them out at chaser.com.au/nab
Ross McEwan
CEO
NOB Bank
WAR ON 2021 LIVE SHOW
Our end of year live show "The War on 2021" is happening! If you live in NSW or ACT, and you're fully vaccinated, you can book tickets to our shows across the state. As for most of the other states, strangely your governments don't seem to want Covid-19 sloshing around, so we’re going to have to postpone until next year. If you’ve already bought tickets, you will be contacted in the coming weeks and offered a new date, or a full refund. For our Melbourne show, we’re still holding out hope, so save the date. Fingers crossed!

November 24 - Central Coast Laycock Theatre - Book Now
November 25 - Newcastle City Hall, Concert Hall - Book Now
November 30 - Canberra Theatre - Book Now
December 2 - Wollongong IMB Theatre - Book Now
December 8 - Penrith, The Joan - Book Now
December 9 - Sydney, Enmore Theatre - Book Now
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