The Milkshake video was a Chaser prank

Dear Reader,

I am not Charles but I have taken over the Weakly today because I’m an entitled young person. So, I told my boss to ‘step aside’ and he said ‘Ok. As long as you do all your work still and I don’t have to pay you more, you can do mine as well. That’s totally fine with me’, so looks like I have shown him.

Now, as a young person I am seizing this opportunity to report on a disturbing new trend popular amongst my fellow zillenials, who are far too young to be using the term ‘fellow’.

Warning: the following report may be triggering to readers with lactose intolerance.

Bizarre and haunting images have emerged this week, of young people around the nation rubbing milkshakes on each other’s faces for what experts believe to be sexual gratification. These public acts of human indecency are being referred to by young people as ‘Milkshaking’.

The trend started this week after a series of inappropriate and graphic videos emerged online showing two young adults partaking in the act, instantly causing public disgust and outrage. Even worse, these videos were then somehow added to websites accessible to school students as young as 15.

Thankfully however the videos have since been removed from the web by the government, which one source informed us happened “in response to revelations that a minister had ejaculated on the desk in the video.” Sounds like they need a lesson in consent.

If you are worried that your teen may be watching these sick, disturbing milkshake videos, we recommend looking out for if they text their friends the abbreviation ‘ICYMI’ which means ‘I Consent (to) Your Milkshaking Intentions’.

Also if they’re listening to ‘Milkshake’ by Kelis you should be worried as well. Not because it’s related to the video, mind you. It just means they have terrible taste in music.

John Delmenico,
Janitor and new head of newsletters 

P.S. If you or someone you know saw the ‘news’ about Fairy Bread being ‘cancelled’ as reported by our rival satirists over at NewsCorp, check out this video about how the interns baited them into reporting on a made up ‘cancel culture’ movement. Also check out the Chaser Interns on Twitter.
 

NEW MERCH

Because we're an online media company, we're now legally required to release our own line of merchandise. It's highly defamatory.


 

LIVE SHOW - NEW DATES

Following their critically acclaimed, sell-out Adelaide run, James and Charles are taking their new live pandemic show on the road.

Canberra Theatre
4th May 2021 – 7:30pm
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Sydney, Enmore Theatre
6th May – 7pm
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Melbourne, Athenaeum Theatre
7th May – 6:30pm & 8:30pm
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Brisbane, Fortitude Valley Music Hall
20th May 2021 – 6:30pm
HURRY - ALMOST SOLD OUT
 

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