There are no cuts.
Dear Reader,
There's been a huge amount of confusion this week about "funding cuts" at the ABC. The ABC claimed they had an $84 million cut in funding over three years, while Scott Morrison said that "there are no cuts".
So what's going on?
The answer is simple. When the ABC says they have $84 million less over three years, they're talking about THE ACTUAL REAL VALUE MONEY. Which is ridiculous.
They should use the government's assumptions.
Sure, the government is paying less to the ABC in real terms each year, but the government says the ABC is able to make $84 million worth of "efficiency savings" over three years because of technology and stuff.
When you use new technology like computers and phones, getting $84 million less in real terms is basically the same as breaking even.
As long as the ABC cuts $84 million from their budget, there are no cuts whatsoever. It's that simple.
On a different note, I've noticed that ministers in the Federal Government have been using mobile phones and computers in their meetings recently. Clearly, they're using technology and stuff, so I think it's time we reap the dividends from this efficiency.
But I'm not proposing we cut Federal Ministers' pay. Instead, let's just assume that they can find efficiency savings, of, say, 50% in their household budgets because of technology and stuff.
That way, we can pay them half as much -- and IT WON'T CUT THEIR PAY. As long as they stop spending half their salary, they'll be breaking even. It's that simple.
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Managing Editor
A few other things...
PODCAST - New episode out today
 As Melbourne goes back into lockdown, Dom and Charles attempt to avoid interacting with Andrew, who lives in Melbourne. Plus, we take a trip to Serbia, where Novak Djokovic's attempt to organise the first post-Covid tennis tournament experienced a slight logistical problem what with Covid still existing, we explore more fabulously nauseating celebrity isolation videos, and discover the most craptastic Bluetooth device yet. Stream it online on our website or at Nova or download it in any podcast app, including:
NEW COMEDY ALBUM - OUT NOW
 Everyone's been talking about all the essential nurses, doctors, teachers and shop workers that have got us through this difficult period. Here in NSW, we've rewarded the hard work and bravery of nurses, teachers and other servants with a wage cut. Sorry, I mean wage 'freeze'.
But nobody has paid tribute to the non-essential workers, who've been sitting at home, not playing a vital role in sustaining us through this historic period.
That's why, this week, The Chaser launched its first album, and dedicated it to them, the non-essential workers. It's a great album.
Stream it on Spotify or Apple Music. (Or search for "Radio Chaser".)
Or buy the album from The Chaser Shop today for just $29.95, and we'll send you a special limited-edition, signed copy of the album.
THE CHASER QUARTERLY - 22-page sample online
E ven in lockdown, you can still browse a free 22-page sampler of our latest book at ChaserShop.com. The fully revised second edition of The Anti-Expert's Guide to Everything includes a tasteful guide to how to cure coronavirus the natural way, without the pesky use of Western science.
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