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Issue 192 - 19th August 2022

I've sworn myself in as the Editor of the Chaser

Hello Australia,

Your beloved ScoMo here, self-appointed editor of The Chaser. How good is that!

I've come to save the day once again, and steer this ship in the tempest. The Chaser will be the next Costa Concordia. 

For a long time now I have secretly held this position, but decided, based on recent events, to fully take charge without telling The Chaser Managing Director, Charles Firth. Some suggest that an apology is in order for this sudden change of leadership, but sadly he is yet to apologise to me.

Under my rule, we will be making some new changes to editorial standards, so we'll be seeing much less of that biassed ABC style 'journalism' and more honest, truthful headlines like:

- Parenting tips: How to get your kids off the couch and out driving forklifts
- Interior design: Check out this stunning redecoration of a local Engadine restaurant 
- Cooking: 5 perfect curry recipes to cook at home during any national disaster

Now you might be asking, "Scott, how exactly did you become the head of The Chaser when you were supposed to be running the country?" and honestly it was surprisingly simple. I wanted to, so I spoke to the Governor General and one unrelated $18 million government contract later, I was in charge of this company, just like God intended.

Now I know a lot of critics are saying 'that's now how the law works' or 'that breaches the constitution', and I hear this. Which is why I'm very pleased to announce it is the public's fault. They're the ones who wanted someone to lead The Chaser.

And yes, I'll admit I won't get everything right in my new role. Jenny has a real way of stuffing things up like that. But if at any point under my leadership a joke was not made or a typo was not fixed, rest assured, that was not my job.

So in summary, you’re welcome and go the Sharkies!

Yours,
Scott Morrison
Managing Director, The Chaser

Former Prime Minister, Former Finance Minister, Former Industry Minister, Former Health Minister, Former Home Affairs Minister, Former Treasurer and Former Minister for Hawaii

The War on 2022


Join Australian satirical all-stars Charles Firth (The Chaser), James Schloeffel (The Shovel), Mark Humphries (7.30) and Gabbi Bolt (Sydney Comedy Fest Best Newcomer) as they dissect the disasters, disasters and disasters of 2022 live on stage.

Click here for more information and tickets

The Weakly News Quiz:


It was revealed this week Scott Morrison secretly held what?

  1. A hose
  2. 5 secret cabinet positions
  3. Jenny responsible for everything

Conservatives split from the Anglican Church because they thought what was wrong:

  1. Changing traditional marriage to include same-sex couples
  2. Changing traditional marriage to allow a king to behead his wives
  3. Their leader protecting her son from child trafficking charges

Australia’s summer is set to be ruined for a second year in a row by what?

  1. A La Nina period
  2. 5 new variants of Scott Morrison
  3. Bunnings putting the onion on the bottom
Two Knights players were allegedly caught doing what in a nightclub cubicle:
  1. Drugs
  2. Sword Fighting with their pee
  3. Giving the Manly Sea Eagles nightmares
A housing report has declared what toxic substance is affecting renters?
  1. Mold
  2. Real estate agents
  3. Their housemate's unwashed dishes
Doctor prices have skyrocketed because:
  1. The Medicare rebate went down
  2. They’re saving up for a lettuce
  3. They want to see more change from their patients

Christian Porter complained Morrison took his ministry without ‘consent’, Porter’s concerns about consent are:

  1. Valid
  2. Grounds for News Corp to print his diary and call him crazy
  3. [retracted by lawyers]

Scientists have announced plans to clone what:

  1. Tasmanian Tigers
  2. Dinosaurs
  3. Olivia Newton John

A message from our Sponsors



 
This Week's News
Grace Tame slammed for refusing to smile near the Prime Minister, Health Minister, Resources Minister, Finance Minister…
“Marriage cannot change” claims church founded solely to change definition of marriage
Shock as Scott Morrison reveals he was secretly Anthony Albanese all along
Morrisons seek marriage counselling after Jenny confesses to sleeping with Ministers for Health, Finance, Resources, Home Affairs…
Scott Morrison’s secret government appointments were not illegal, declares Governor General Scott Morrison
Morrison: “You wouldn’t understand as you’ve never been prime minister, health minister, finance minister, resources minister, treasurer…”

Leaked: Scott Morrison's Resume


Follow us on Twitter the latest updates

New from Chaser Games


Play as Scott Morrison the snake as you sneakily try to steal as many secret ministries as possible:

Play now
The Chaser Report:
Scott Morrison saves satire with Sami Shah
Scott Morrison swears himself in as Minister for Tantrums with Ronni Salt
The Trump Files with Chas Licciardello
Scott Morrison swears himself in as our podcast host with Chas Licciardello
How to throw the ultimate 14th birthday party in 2022
A word from our sponsors

From the makers of Being John Malkovich comes a new hilarious farce

Scott Morrison Remixed




Check out this video by Remix Matrix, one of our favorite new satire outlets.

Batshit Moment of The Week




Our mates at Batshit Moments in Australian Politics have nominated this flattering photo of Peter Dutton as the Batshit Moment of The Week
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